Alright, queens, it’s time to talk about something we all need to hear more often: putting yourself first and mastering the art of de-centering men in your life. I know, I know, society has been telling us for centuries that we should be nurturing, self-sacrificing, and oh-so-concerned about everyone else’s needs—especially the men in our lives. But guess what? It’s 2024, and it’s high time we flipped the script. So grab your favorite drink, kick off your heels, and let’s dive into the fabulous art of putting YOU first.
1. You’re the Main Character, Not the Supporting Role
First things first: You are the main character of your own life. Let me repeat that for the ladies in the back—YOU are the main character. Your life isn’t some rom-com where the guy’s dreams, desires, and issues take center stage while you’re relegated to the role of “supportive girlfriend” or “understanding wife.” No, darling, you are the star of this show, and it’s time to start acting like it.
That means making decisions that are best for you, prioritizing your goals, and focusing on your happiness. It’s about shifting the spotlight from him to you. Because at the end of the day, you can’t pour from an empty cup, and it’s time to start filling yours up to the brim—preferably with champagne. 🥂
2. The Myth of the ‘Ride or Die’ Chick: Spoiler Alert, She’s Tired
Ladies, let’s debunk a dangerous myth: the so-called “ride or die” chick. You know, the one who sticks by her man no matter what, sacrificing her own needs, dreams, and sanity for the sake of the relationship. Yeah, her? She’s exhausted, and honestly, she deserves better.
Being loyal and supportive is one thing, but losing yourself in the process? That’s a no-go. Relationships should be partnerships, not endurance tests. You don’t have to be the one holding everything together while he coasts along. If you’re constantly bending over backward to keep him happy while your own needs are on the backburner, it’s time to rethink that dynamic. Remember, a relationship should lift you up, not weigh you down.
3. It’s OK to Be Selfish—In Fact, It’s Necessary
Let’s talk about the word “selfish.” It’s been used to shame women for prioritizing their own needs since forever. But here’s a radical idea: Being selfish isn’t a bad thing—it’s a necessary thing. Taking care of yourself, putting your needs first, and not feeling guilty about it is what keeps you grounded, happy, and healthy.
Think of it like this: When you’re on an airplane, they always tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. Why? Because you can’t help anyone else if you’re gasping for air. The same goes for life. You’ve got to take care of yourself first, and that might mean saying no to things (or people) that drain your energy or don’t serve your well-being.
4. De-Centering Men Doesn’t Mean Hating Them
Let’s get one thing straight: De-centering men in your life doesn’t mean you hate men or that you’re anti-relationship. It simply means you’re shifting the focus away from them and onto yourself. You’re recognizing that your happiness doesn’t depend on a man’s approval or presence.
It’s about reclaiming your power and realizing that you’re complete on your own. A man can complement your life, but he shouldn’t be the center of it. Your dreams, passions, and goals should take precedence, and any man who’s truly worth your time will respect and support that.
5. Stop Playing the “Cool Girl” and Start Being the Real You
We’ve all been there—trying to be the “cool girl” who’s easy-going, low-maintenance, and totally okay with whatever he wants. But let’s be real, that’s exhausting and, more importantly, not true to who you are. It’s time to retire the “cool girl” act and start being unapologetically yourself.
If you have standards, voice them. If something bothers you, speak up. You don’t have to shrink yourself to fit someone else’s idea of what you should be. Your opinions, feelings, and boundaries matter, and they deserve to be respected. Stop worrying about being liked and start focusing on being authentic.
6. The Power of Saying “No” and Not Feeling Guilty About It
“No” is a complete sentence, and it’s one of the most powerful words in your vocabulary. It’s okay to say no to things that don’t align with your values, goals, or desires. And here’s the kicker—you don’t have to justify it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your own well-being.
Whether it’s saying no to a relationship that doesn’t serve you, declining a request that drains your energy, or just choosing to spend a Friday night with a good book instead of a date, owning your “no” is a crucial step in putting yourself first.
7. Financial Independence: Your Golden Ticket to Freedom
Money matters, ladies. Financial independence is not just about having cash in the bank; it’s about having the freedom to make your own choices. When you’re financially secure, you’re not reliant on anyone else to provide for you, which means you can live life on your own terms.
Invest in yourself, your career, and your future. Don’t let anyone convince you that your worth is tied to a man’s paycheck. You have the power to create the life you want, and that starts with making smart financial decisions and being in control of your own destiny.
8. Surround Yourself with a Tribe That Lifts You Up
Finally, let’s talk about your tribe. The people you surround yourself with have a huge impact on your life, so make sure you’re building a circle of strong, supportive women who lift you up. These are the friends who encourage you to chase your dreams, remind you of your worth, and are there to cheer you on every step of the way.
Your tribe should be filled with women who inspire you, challenge you, and support you in putting yourself first. Because when you surround yourself with positivity and empowerment, you’re more likely to live a life that’s true to who you are.
In Conclusion: You Are the Prize, Darling
At the end of the day, remember this: You are the prize. You don’t need to center your life around a man to feel complete or fulfilled. Your happiness, success, and well-being should always come first. So, take that spotlight and shine it on yourself, because you deserve nothing less.
Here’s to de-centering men, putting yourself first, and living life on your own terms. Cheers to you, queen. 🥂
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